Restore the magic in your contact…. in your relationship.

Find the source…. in itself

When I have clarity in the relationship patterns that disrupt intimate contact, then I have a choice. When I see that I label the partner I can see that I am in my head instead of my heart. If I want to change the other, I get stuck. Recognizable? Because I and the other usually want contact on an equal level and not that the other starts to label and thus puts themselves in a higher position.

What am I doing? Do I label or perceive what I feel? Do I share what I feel or do I translate an unpleasant feeling into a label?

My relationship provides a unique opportunity to learn about myself and really get to know the other.

Feeling the miracle of contact in the dialogue.

What makes the relationship or the contact ecstatic is the recognition of the differences. I come out of my mind and I feel. I share that feeling even if the other person does not respond in the ideal way as I would like in the given situation. I give love to myself without ego demonstration and this love radiates by itself without trying my best.

I need willingness and receptivity to see my own limiting thought or ingrained response pattern. To reflect on my self. See what I’m doing or not doing. To take responsibility for what I do. To be honest with myself.

Start with I love you. I want to recover. I can see the pain. Seeing and feeling seen heals.

Beauty France

To be in relationship:

That recurring “conflict in relationship, feeling misunderstood, feeling pain, feeling alone, defending “the self ”, have a meaning and that meaning is released when there is attention for each other to be able to see at that level of feeling. In Gestalt we call this the foreground and background configuration. If the dialogue with the deeper self is disturbed, it is not possible to give clarity and expression to yourself in the living situation. To unveil the negative emotion, loving awareness is needed, so that the balance of positive and negative can be restored and you can choose where you stand.

Relationship training, individual training or group training by video calling.

Feeling that magical moment of contact. When someone in the group has clarity in themselves and in the situation. The tears of emotion flow and everyone in the group can feel the meaning and recognize what is present. I am present and grateful in being aware of being in touch with the wisdom of the self. Support through the group and sharing recognition.

In the training we will unravel the whole mess of emotions, feelings, thinking with pure attention. We practice with dance, movement, expressing yourself, meditation and reflecting on where you stand without judgment. Exploring and recognizing blockages. With deepened insight and understanding for yourself in the old situation, you can see and let go in the here and now. Become your own master (es) and feel your own rhythm and cadence in contact or relationship. Tune in and move. Perceiving inwardly. Express appearance.

These trainings are for anyone who wants to discover, is willing to experience and wants to reflect on what is happening here and now. Whether you are a therapist and want to retrain at an experience level, a student or need extra inspiration. If you need to reflect in a nourishing environment on “know yourself” or attention for “the common thread” in your life, then these training courses contribute to that.

My name is Evert van der Weide, I lived in Thailand since 2007 and in France since 2009, I now have 41 years of experience as a Gestalt therapist; see Linked. I work with individual, relationship conversations, supervision and I work with specific Gestalt weekend / Gestalt week training courses in the Netherlands, France and Thailand.

For information and data about various training courses you can e-mail me with name, address and telephone. Do you want to receive weekly e-mails or specific information (theme of your life) or a registration form.


For inspiration: “Long as I can see the light” from Creedence Clearwater Revival:  

Vind je eigen licht en waarheid.  folder in voorbereiding

Gestalt week “nourishing relationships” 24-31 August 2021 in France

Register before 1 May 2021

Depending on the corona perils on location in France or worldwide via Zoom video.

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